Friday, October 31, 2008

Back to Life As I Know It

Me & my gal-pals relaxing on Captiva Island
(I'm the one in the white t-shirt)

Ah, I am finally on my way back home to DFW. The week with my gal pals was SO relaxing. We did 4 days of the pool & 1 day of the beach. I got a Swedish massage and my friend got a Himalayan Salt Scrub (for exfoliating, I guess). We ate out twice and spent one afternoon at the outlet mall. I am very sad that the week is over, but I am also excited to get back to my family. Texan Papa kindly reminded me that I will feel relieved to get home and get back into the swing of things. He has left lots of dirty laundry and dishes for me, you know – just so I don’t have a hard time with re-entry. Gee, thanks.

So, sitting here in the airport, I am wondering if I am the only person who thinks it’s really strange when an airplane is ready to be boarded (boarded? Shouldn’t there be a past-tense for that? Like, bred? bore? Eh…) and there is a HUGE line of people waiting to get on? I’m all, WTF? It’s not a cattle call people. You know where you get to sit – it’s not like the first 25 people in the door get a plasma TV. Plus, once you get inside the door, there are a host of wonders that await you inside the cabin: B.O. of 100+ people, all contained in one air-tight spot; un-plush seats covered in scratchy fabric or cracked pleather; airplane fans that blow out stale airplane air; and the line! The waiting! The wondering, “When in the hell is this crazy old lady gonna get her clearly-too-big carryon into the overhead bin and just SIT THE HELL DOWN?

Yet this whole time I’ve been typing, while waiting to board my flight to Dallas, the crowd continues to stand around, looking like deer in the headlights. They are clearly chomping at the bit to get inside this flying germ tube, why I don’t know. Sure, it’s fun to fly. The novelty of it, for a person who doesn’t fly very often, is quite exciting. But once on the plane, I’ve never been treated to a free margarita or a big party. I mean, heck – they don’t even give ya free peanuts anymore.

“Group 1, you may board the plane now.” This is the beginning – everyone tries to scam their way onto the plane. The old guy at the door to the jetway who scans the barcode of the boarding pass, keeps saying “I’m sorry sir, this is only boarding for Group 1. Dumb-ass. Can’t you see the giant NUMBER 1 on your boarding pass?” Okay, that last part was implied by me, but I’m sure the old guy was thinking it.

I want to stand at the front of the line, climb up on a chair, and start screaming like a mad woman “What are you people, stupid? Once on the plane, it will just be more waiting. More squishing. And, I sure hope you like having your personal space invaded because you are about to get into a serious elbow-brawl with the person or persons in the seats next to you!!!”

Okay, I can see the herd is thinning. I think it’s time for me to get myself onto the plane. I have already picked out who I hope will be my seat-next-door flight partner. Maybe it’s the cute twenty-something girl who has a nice shade of lipstick. Maybe it’s that forty-something business guy who will surely spend the whole time reading the Wall Street Journal and I won’t have to talk to him. Not that I mind talking, but inevitably when I tell people I’m married to a pastor, the religion talk comes out. “What do you think about homosexuality?” and “My pastor is a woman. Does your religion have women pastors?” and “I quit going to church. I believe God just wants me to be happy and I didn’t like church. I can worship anywhere.” OKAY…. Well I am not even going to get into those questions. Usually, I just nod and say, “Oh, so you’re from Denver? Do you like the Nuggets?” or “My husband always wanted to be a pastor but I always wanted to be a teacher. I teach math.” I try to get off on a tangent and steer the conversation away from religion. My daddy always told me that the subjects for polite conversation must never include politics or religion. And, being the sweet girl that I am, I oblige. I’d much rather talk about E. Coli. Or global warming. You know – something warm and fuzzy like that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Fellow Texan Weighs In

Hi again from Ft. Myers! I'm still here and I haven't gotten any 3rd degree burns (yet) from lying on the beach. If I escape this vacation without looking like a lobster, it will be the first time in 3 trips. You'd think I'd have learned the whole don't-count-on-SPF-8-in-Florida thing. But, alas, I can hardly wait to build a tan up gradually. I need a tan. right. now. Even if it means that I have a terrible sunburn that gradually fades into a tan. Ah, well.

Speaking of things we can hardly wait for, I know you are all just ripe with anticipation to meet today's guest blogger. I'm so happy to introduce you to Carrie from The Story Of My World. I can't remember if I met Carrie through Blog Around the World or The Secret Is In The Sauce, but either way we are in the elite class of Texan bloggers. Oh and now we're also both on Blogging Across Texas. If you're a blogger from Texas and you want da hook-up, just tell Carrie or myself and we'll invite ya to the par-tay! So, what can I say about Carrie that she isn't going to say about herself? Umm, not much. Read on and you'll get to know her... and like her!



Well, I have been asked to guest post! Very exciting! I feel honored but yet unworthy at the same time! I mean what if Texan Mama's readers dont like me! and I mean its not MY blog so can I still say anything I want to??? What are the rules? What are the expectations? Does freedom of speech exist if you are posting on another persons blog??? So if I have to be careful what I post about I will have to leave out...
religion
money
politics
birth control
moral issues in general (some being more important than otheres)
home schooling
child rearing
the war on terror
the environment
I am sure there are other political faux pas! What is there left to blog about? My diet??? Well I vowed to only speak of it on Fitness Fridays (to learn more about Fitness Fridays go to see Brenda at the Family Revised! My children??? No that is out because I disciplined my five year old yesterday during homeschooling and had to speak to my 9 year old about a moral issue that came up during the day? So how about my wonderful hubbie...um no yesterday he fowarded me an email on politics and this morning I had a "discussion" with him about our bank account!!! How about us working in the back yard the other day, we pruned back the bushes and cleaned the pool...wait isnt that the environment? Well I have exciting news... I am going to a concert with my daughter! her first concert....wait it's Amy Grant so that is religion!

What's a girl to blog about....
Forget the faux pas, I am just going for it! I am voting for McCain and pray to God he wins. I have money although never enough and dont get me started on AIG or those selfish CEO's or congress passing the stupid bill that "helped" our economic crisis??? I have been struggling with the birth control issue for weeks now and have come to no complete feeling of truth for myself! Although I am absolutely still using it!!(tmi!) Ummm moral issues. Parents should discipline their own children but when they dont other parents should step in and not be YELLED at. Abortion is wrong. Spanking (the right way) is right! Home schooling rocks although it is defintely not for everyone! and Yes I am qualified enough to teach my children. I mean I learnt all i cud in skull didn i? um war on terror??? Go Troops!!!!!!!!!!!!! The environment...I dont know what we are all so worried about Al Gore has it all under control and hey I'm green! I have the bags from Walmart!
So did I cover all the faux pas? Did I miss any??? Um I dont believe in Santa Claus and neither do my kids! AKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. I am just that kindof person!
So this post is pretty sassy! But really I am not a sassy person! but I think you all learned more about me as a person in one post than my readers have learned in months!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Gettin Scary Just Before Halloween

Greetings from Ft. Myers!

I think it is only appropriate that my guest poster for today is Scary Mommy. It is appropriate because Halloween is almost upon us, and who doesn't like to be scared at Halloween. Really, though, she isn't scary. She's a hoot! And feisty! And man, she's got opinions! But I do too... that's what we like about each other. We like to agree to disagree and still remain buds.

So, sit back and enjoy this post, while I am going to sit back in my beach chair and enjoy a virgin margarita.


I love babies-- I love their newborn smell, their tiny feet, their little fingernails and soft cheeks. A few quick months later, I adore their toothless grins and giggles, their fat rolls and and timid first steps. I don't even mind the sleepless nights and constant feedings, it's totally worth it. Babies are just the sweetest, most delicious little creatures on earth. So, congratulations, Texan Mama, on your impending arrival, it's all just so exciting and wonderful.

OK, it's not all so wonderful. There are a few downsides, which I remind myself of every time I get bitten by the baby bug. Everybody talks about the aches and pains of pregnancy, and as unpleasant as those things are, they do end after nine months. What about the lasting impressions our offspring make on us? Shouldn't our babies be kind enough to put things back as they found them? Is it too much to ask for some common courtesy? I expected to have a tough time with the baby weight, when you gain and lose 60 pounds three times, that's the price you pay. The stretch marks across the belly were no surprise either, and I was prepared for the slight redistribution of said weight. It's everything else that pisses me off.

Before I had my babies, my hair naturally formed perfect ringlets. Sure, there were days I longed for straight, glossy hair, but my curls were a part of me. Now, my hair is an unfortunate mix of curly and straight with a lovely layer of frizz on top. There is also a new patch of gray, prominently placed above my right eyebrow, which seems totally resistant to coloring. My feet now comfortably fill out a size eight shoe, with all of my cute, pricey and barely worn size sevens lining the shelves at Goodwill. My skin is dryer than it ever was, my nails are brittle and my completion is totally unpredictable. And, let's not even talk about the bladder control issue. Thanks, kids.

So, my message to you, Texan Mama, is to appreciate what you have now-- you never know what that future child of yours will go messing up. But, it will all be worth it, of course. And maybe, just maybe, you'll have a reason to get some new shoes.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Century Club

Wow, my 100th post. I can't believe it. I made it this far and I haven't even sprained my finger. I am almost at the 4-month mark of my first blog post, which means I have posted an average of 25 times per month. Whoa, that is some serious time taken away from necessary house chores. Thank goodness.

I am celebrating my 100th post with a vacation. For me! For a whole week!! SQUEEE!! I leave on Friday for this wonderful spot:


I am going to Ft. Myers with 3 of my girlfriends from College. This is the third year we have gone together. It's funny, because I am really the "missing link" between these friends. They aren't really friends with each other, but they are all friends with me. But we all get along fabulously. We've discussed inviting other gals from college, but we've never really been able to decide on a person whose temperament would fit just right with ours. We all just get along so well like that.

The week is usually REALLY packed. Day 1: shop for groceries and sunscreen. Day 2: lie on the beach. Day 3: lie by the pool. Day 4: Outlet mall. Day 5: get massage/facial/mani-pedi. Day 6: repeat some or all of previous days. Day 7: begrudgingly return home. So, you can see why this very hectic schedule will not allow me to be posting for a while.

In my absence, I have two wonderful, fabulous ladies lined up to strut their stuff. First up, Scary Mommy. Now, she's not really scary. More like funny, honest, and REAL. Her writing is cream of the crop. I can't wait for you to meet her, if you haven't already. She'll be posting on Monday. Next up, is Carrie from The Story of My World. She's a fellow Texan, y'all! Yee-Haw. If that isn't reason enough to love her, she has an awesome camera and she's not afraid to use it. She'll be posting later next week.

So, peeps, I will be checking my blogroll but will not be personally posting until after Halloween. Texan Papa just asked me, "What will they do without you? They'll be lost!" I assured him how intelligent, confident, and fun-loving my readers are... they will be just fine until my return.

In the mean time, I also have a blog that I would like you to check out. My very best friend from high school, Angie, is one of the most amazing people I know, bar none. She is a lot like my female husband. What I mean, is that, I have known her almost forevah, she knows how to finish my sentences, and she gets me. She is a good listener and an even better conversationalist. She is smart as a whip - common sense AND thu book lernin' too. And, unfortunately, her family has been touched by cancer. I made that word small because it does not deserve regular-size font like all other words. Anyway, Angie's husband, Brian, has been battling cancer for over 11 years now, through radiation, chemotherapy, and recently surgery. Her family really needs prayers right now. Please go to her blog and read about what's going on with her family. If you feel comfortable, leave a comment because I know she appreciates all the support she has gotten from the blogging community.

Okay, I am leaving you in capable hands. If you e-mail me and I don't send you something right back, just remember that I might be busy getting a massage, getting a new outfit, or getting a tan. It's all good.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What is Fat?

My husband had a horrible August. He was debilitated with Lyme Disease. We don't know when he contracted it, so trying to decipher how long his recovery will be is also a mystery. He never got the usual tell-tale "bulls-eye" bite mark and rash, or if he had it, it was never found by either of us. He began to feel unwell on August 3, and by August 6 he was unable to move from a lying position or a sitting position without some serious assistance. His joints were the main location of the pain. Even sleeping was painful because he had to use his muscles to move his body around and then he'd move onto a painful joint. After seeing 3 different doctors, his Lyme Disease was finally confirmed and he was put on a combination of strong antibiotics, pain killers, and anti-inflamatories. Under the supervision of the Great Physician, Texan Papa made a great recovery.



One doctor who TP saw, his rheumatologist, told him that after a person is cured of Lyme Disease, he or she will be left with a "mark". That mark can be different for every person, and is often determined by how long the disease was present in his/her system. Some marks include: facial ticks, paralysis, and neurological damage. Texan Papa's mark is Fibromyalgia. The doctor told him that the Fibromyalgia will be manageable through diet and heavy exercise. TP has decided to go all out exercising, eating healthy, and making himself healthy. We're talking, counting all his carbs, loading up on proteins, drinking protein shakes, watching his saturated fats, etc. Now, Texan Papa and myself are the same, a little bit, in that we vacillate back and forth between phases of eating healthy and watching calories, as well as enjoying our meals and not worrying about the ingredients. Now, he claims this is 100% to do with not wanting to have fibromyalgia for the rest of his life. I am so glad he has chosen to be proactive about his health. But, ya know what? It makes me scared, a little bit.



I am not what *I* would call overweight. Okay, but what is overweight? Is it defined by a percentage of body mass index? Is it defined by a pants size? Is it defined by a combination of my height and weight? Or is it defined by my pulse rate when exercising? Or if I can buy clothing in the "regular" sizes (up to 14 or 16 for ladies). I would say that neither TP nor myself are what I would call unhealthy. He is over 6' tall and just over 200 lbs. I am 5'6" and weigh 165. I wear a size 12 or 14. This may seem a little heavy, but realize that when I graduated high school I weighed 145 and the weight I am now is after 18 years and 4 children. Okay, now it sounds like I'm justifying. I hate that.



But what is healthy? In the past, when I have been super-focused on my carbs, my fats, my calories, etc. I went crazy. I thought about nothing else. My day revolved around planning meals and snacks so that I could maximize the healthy benefits while also minimizing my intake of bad by-products. I constantly looked at other people and wondered, "Do I look like that? Do my love handles look like hers? How does she get that muscle definition in her arms? I wonder what type of workout she does? I wonder how many carbs she eats in a day?" Is that healthy to be so obsessed with that type of thought?



The flipside is the side I'm on, I guess, after many years of an uphill battle of self-acceptance. I eat what I want but I respect limits. If I eat an unhealthy food, I try to eat a smaller portion or else I eat a larger portion of healthy foods to balance it. But I don't steer clear of foods I enjoy: white bread, Hershey's kisses, chips and salsa, sour cream, bacon, and I always cook with REAL BUTTER. I believe that food should not be a source of stress. It's not an enemy, it's not a friend. I think food should nourish us, but in a way that satisfies us. Sure, I will be kept alive on plain grilled chicken breasts, steamed broccoli, and spinach. But if I don't enjoy eating it, then mealtimes become something I do not look forward to. It would be like (for me) reading The Grapes of Wrath. So boring. Bland. Unexciting.



And, as far as exercise, I want to do it for my health, not for looks. I don't ever expect to get 6-pack abs. I don't want anything to be rock hard. I just want to have nice, pink, lean guts. Every time I run on the treadmill, I picture my pink muscley heart pumping away, getting stronger and stronger. I picture my blood racing through my veins as fast as I'm going on the stair step machine. As the sweat pours off my brow, I feel like my insides are being cleansed and after I step off the elliptical machine I am replenishing myslef with clean clear water. I can breathe, and I can bend, and I'm not sore. I can run and play. When I do get hurt, I recover quickly. I FEEL healthy. So what does it matter what I look like? What does it matter about the number on the scale?



So, I'm nervous that one day the Papa is going to look at me and say to himself, "I just don't think she looks too good. She's gotten round around the middle. And look at her sitting there eating Pringles. Gross." I know for a fact he would NEVER actually say that to me because he respects me. But he might not keep from thinking it. I feel like I'm caught in a trap. I don't want to be overweight and unhealthy. But am I? How do I know? Like I said, what's the definitive answer for that? And if I'm not now, at what point will I cross the threshold from "okay, she could be doing better" to "get help now, you're going to have a stroke"?



And, on a personal note, for the first time in my life I feel very awkward while undressed around my husband. He still tells me he's attracted to me. Our love life is still the same. But every time I get a little itch around my mid-section and I feel the stretch marks, I die a little bit inside. When I see those cellulite dimples, I cringe. Sometimes I will be walking by a store and get a sideways glipse of my reflection in the window, and I don't recognize myself at first. I have seen so many shows about eating disorders and how young girls picture themselves as being much heavier than they actually are. I wonder if I have the opposite problem - maybe I'm not worried about my weight because I think I'm in better shape or I'm skinnier than I actually am. Already, when I go to the clothing store, I keep thinking that I can pick out clothes to put on, then when I get in the dressing room I put the item on, if it even fits, and I remind myself, there's a reason I don't have any clothes like this! I look horrible in it! It's like, my mind can't wrap itself around the fact that I'm not 22 anymore. I have had 4 children. My stomach was always my bad feature to begin with anyway. And I like cardio but I absolutely hate crunches, leg lifts, etc.



So, I guess I'm afraid of Texan Papa throwing off the shell of his former self and suddenly feeling dissatisfied with a person who is comfortable with being adequate. I like my eating habits. I like moderation. I like Cheetos. I wish I had a different mid-section, but not so much so that I am going to cut out pasta. Not yet anyway.

Monday, October 20, 2008

What did you do this 4th of July?

I can clearly remember what I did on July 4, 2008. It wasn't that exciting or at all significant, but it wasn't that long ago, so I have good memory of that day.

We went to an awesome party at my neighbor-across-the-street's house. He and his wife threw a big birthday party for his grandmother, who was turning 90. Plus it was 4th of July (more reason to celebrate). His whole family and extended family was there, so I'm guessing it was about 40 people. It was so much fun! Plus, Texan Papa had to work that day so I enjoyed having some place to go rather than just sit at home and mope.

Unfortunately I didn't know where to go to watch fireworks. That's always a sore spot with me on July 4th. I want to watch them, and I want the kids to watch them and enjoy them. But, being the summer and all, it doesn't get dark enough for fireworks until at least 9:30, and down here in Texas it's more like 10:00pm. Then, we have to actually stay up and watch them. Then, sit in traffic trying to get out of the parking lot along with the 16 hundred bazillion other people who also have screaming, whining, tired, out-of-sorts children in their own minivans. So this past year I looked up in the sky, saw one big explosion, and I jumped in the grocery grabber with the kids and went in search of a fireworks display. At 10pm. Oh yeah huh I did. We never found one, but I sure got to listen to some whining. Yea me.

So, like I said, not very eventful. Even kinda boring. But this guy from Oregon had his hands full on July 4, 2008. He was busy becoming a father. And when I say becoming a father, I mean in the motherly kind of way. You see, Thomas Beatie became the first man to give birth to a child. From his own body. Where he carried the child for 9 months. Yeah huh.

No, I am not joking. No this is not a play on words. Thomas Beatie is a trans-gender man. He is married to a woman. She cannot bear children because of a hysterectomy. He has had gender reassignment surgery (on his breasts) and takes testosterone to make him appear and sound more male. He is legally considered male by the state of Oregon (hence how he married his wife). However, he chose for the reassignment surgery to not include any change in his reproductive organs. He wanted to save the option of possibly having a child one day. And so it is.

If you want to see the whole story you can see it here. He appeared on Oprah with his wife Nancy, her 2 daughters from a previous marriage, and his OB/GYN.

Not passing judgment. Just sayin'. I know when it comes to birthin' babies, Texan Papa would have none of that. I think I'd like him to have a turn, though.

What do you think of this?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Help a Bloggin' Sister out

This will be short and sweet:

I love to get comments. I mean, I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I also love to respond back to you. DO you like to get replies to your comments? I know I do. It's almost as good as when you get the initial comments. So much comment luv. It's great.

What's not so great is when a person leaves a comment, and I see it in my e-mail inbox (because I receive a notification whenever a new comment comes in, so that I don't have to keep checking back on the original post), and I can't reply to that person because they have not put an e-mail address in their profile identity.

I have only found this to happen with Blogger profiles. If a person has a self-hosted website or Wordpress blog, the comment form requires folks to leave a name and an e-mail address. However, I have a Blogger blog and Blogger does not require the e-mail address. Hence, I can't share the comment luv with y'all because I can't e-mail ya back!

Plus, I think it would help when a person is considering leaving a snarky comment. They would have to think twice about, "hmm, do I really want to say that and attach my name to that?" In all truth, it is the only way a person should leave a comment. Any comment with no identity attached is really not worth squat. If a person can't own their own comments and opinions, I'd like to know what they ARE proud of?

So, c'mon everybody. Share the comment luv. Get your e-mail address in the profile identity! You'll love how many people start luvin' ya right back.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I got tagged so Here we go...

Okay, getting tagged with a meme makes me feel all twisty inside. It's like, "OOH that person likes me enough to tag ME. They want ME to play their game! Finally for once, I'm not the last person picked for kickball!" Oh, wait, we're not in 4th grade. Getting back to reality... On the other hand, I feel like "Oh, another meme. Great. I gotta find MORE stuff to tell about myself that is mundane and ultimately non-remarkable. Let's see, how many Forenza sweaters did I wear backwards with the "V" in the back when I was in 8th grade....?"


So, I got tagged with a meme from The Nice One. I think I kinda put her up on a pedestal because I think she is very cool. We've never met yet but we're trying to get a little mini-bloggess conference all set up for some gals in DFW. I know once I meet her I'll instantly install her as my new BFF. That's if she doesn't tell me to bug off because I'm breathing down her neck or something. Anyhoo, I got tagged and so I'm gonna do what the meme tells me to do.





The rules are-
1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


So here goes:
1. The first street I lived on as a married woman is also the name of my first daughter. No, she's not named Maple. And for the record we didn't live on Peppermint Patty avenue either. (It's the internet, folks. I'm trying to protect the innocent little children here!)
2. My parents have been married for 53 years and still goin' strong. They rock!
3. I am double-jointed in lots of places: shoulders, hips, knees, elbows, and jaw. Yes, jaw. I can fit the top of a diet Coke can in my mouth. When I was little, I may have been the only kid who heard the dentist say, "Um, can you close a little bit?"
4. I hate hate HATE down pillows. They get all flat, then you have to move the pillow to get more fluff, but it just goes flat again. What a waste. Gimme poly-ethelyene-fiberfill-non-recyclable-whatever as long as it stays bouncy and firm.
5. Speaking of down feathers, I am alergic to nothing. I mean nothing. Not dust, not bees, not pollen, not strawberries, NUTHIN. It is so nice. My eyes only water if I get poked by a child's straying finger and I only use kleenex for boogers. Okay, I think I just crossed the TMI barrier there.
6. I married my husband 8 months and 3 days after we met. He proposed after we'd been dating 2 months. My parents thought we were crazy but every day with Texan Papa is pretty great. We do fight sometimes, but he makes it easy to respect him and love him.
7. All of our children are named after someone very important in our lives. Maybe that's why I've had 2 daughters but never named one Amy yet, which is my very most favorite name. I just like the name. But I don't have any family named Amy and I don't remember any Amy's in the bible. So far, family and the Bible have been our source for the name game.

Okay, that's it. So now I have to tag 7 random people. And tag I will. Oh, and it's GONNA be random.

1. Suzi with Pink Vanilla Cupcakes

2. Eudea-Mamia of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit

3. Felicia at The Life of a College Stay at Home Mom

4. Amy of Escape Into My Thoughts



5. Anissa of Queen Bee

6. Marrdy at One Krazy Kat Lady

7. Audrey with The Fam Five

Okay, all these random gals? Never met them (okay, except E-M). We all share a common bond: WE'RE NOT LOSERS! What I mean is that we all won a giveaway over at The Secret Is In The Sauce - our most favoritest blogging networking sight. Me, I won the "Mama Goes Green" bag set - I have no idea how to claim this prize, but if I can get it I'm sure I will look very posh in Walmart packing my bruised pears into a fancy-schmancy earth-friendly tree-hugger bag.

So, now you know more about me. Other interesting facts? Not so interesting. I can give you my measurements but that will be changing quickly. Same with my weight. Height? 5'6". I'm an Aquarius. I like long walks on the beach and watching the sunset and playing with my dog and... oh wait this isn't Match.com? Sorry again... Must. Focus.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Got Snark?

What do you do when you get a snarky comment on your blog?

So far, I have received two on mine. Oh of course I've gotten many a snarky response to a comment I made on someone else's blog, but I kinda expect that. I don't apologize for my opinions and I think they are just that - MY opinions. You don't have to agree with me but for Pete's sake, does anyone really need to be rude about it?

If I say I don't like {insert my opinion here}, please don't call me a hate monger. Or an idiot. Or narrow-minded. Or intolerant. Has anyone ever told these people that the very definition of intolerance involves not tolerating other people's point of view? AREN'T THEY DOING THAT TO ME???

Opinions are owned by the person who holds them. I'm not trying to push my opinions on anyone. Usually, I don't even offer my opinion unless asked. If you don't want my opinion, WHY WOULD YOU ASK? ARE YOU ONLY INTERESTED IN THE OPINION THAT AGREES WITH YOURS??? Just have a conversation with yourself. It would be easier, and no one would ever disagree with you.

I think the true mark of respect between two adults is when they can talk about differing opinions or opposite sides of a point of view, and use calm voices, and not interrupt, and thoughtfully listen to what the other person is saying. Any idiot with or without manners can get into a verbal ass-whipping. It takes a mature individual to express his or her feelings and opinions in a clear but also tactful manner, all the while exercising self-control.

Okay, so, enough about opinions. Because let me tell ya, getting on the blog scene has shifted that portion of my conscience into overdrive. Everybody's got an opinion. And if I see one I disagree with, I try to be polite and I respectfully disagree. I don't name call. I don't say anyone is stupid. I try very hard not to offend.

So when I get an offensive comment, it hurts. I'd like to say, "oh, yeah. whatever. like water off a duck!" But really, it's more like salt in a wound. I want to jump through the computer and say "WHAT THE HELL??? IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THEN JUST CLICK ON SISTER!" But of course those snarky people always post as "Anonymous". Cowardly bastards.

So, here's my question for y'all: When, or if, you get a snarky comment, do you let it lay on your comment section or do you delete it?

And, for Blogger users: do you get as frustrated as I do that people can comment without leaving an e-mail address? I get many AWESOME comments too, and I would love to reply to these folks in e-mail, but they have not registered their e-mail with Blogger. And, of course, if an e-mail address was required I could find the cowardly bastard from Port Charlotte, FL who left the snarky comment for me, saying

The world really doesn't depend on us to keep reproducing! Think about the impact your procreating will have on the world's resources. Yes, I'm being judgmental but I honestly do not understand American women who feel a need to have great numbers of children. Good luck but you don't deserve my empathy.

I CHALLENGE YOU, PORT CHARLOTTE, FLORIDA, TO GROW A BACKBONE AND JUST PUT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENT SECTION.

Whew. I really do feel better now. Blogging really IS theraputic.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Well At Least Now We'll Have A Basketball Team

It is times like these that it is good to be an anonymous person. I have purposefully chosen to NOT reveal to friends, family, etc that I have a blog. I like to be able to talk about what's going on and putting my thoughts/opinions out there without having to worry about, "Am I offending someone I truly respect? Am I hurting someone I love? Will this comment come back to bite me in the ass?"

So, here's the part where I tell you something and you can't call me up and yell at me because you don't have my digits: I am pregnant again. With #5. And I'm not too sure how I feel about it.

I want to be excited. This baby deserves it. I want to jump up and down. I want to be so excited that I can't wait to tell my parents, my in-laws, my friends. But, the truth is, I'm just scared.

I'm scared about how I'm going to squeeze all our children into our house. It isn't small, by any means, but just the way the rooms are set up and the furniture we have, well, it isn't really built for 5 children.

I'm scared about how I'm going to be able to be a mom to 5 kids and not lose my sanity. As it is, many days I am about to fall apart. Lately, I find myself running around to the point of being drenched in sweat. This is no exaggeration. And I'm doing this running around just to get the dinner dishes cleaned up and put away before the kids go to bed. Because once the kids go to bed, I have to make lunches, prepare the diaper bag, check homework, sign permission slips, iron shirts, sew on missing buttons, fold laundry, pay bills, plan the dinner for the next day, more more MORE. I know that everyone has these responsibilities but with each additional child, it's one more person to pick up after, fold their clothes, wash their dishes, etc.

When I got pregnant with Linus (our 3rd) I could not believe it. I was in denial pretty much the whole time. I can clearly remember being in the delivery room and PUSHING, thinking "I just can't believe I'm actually having another baby!" I think it really took me about 6 months after he was born to come to terms with it all. That first year with 3 kids 3 and younger was very trying. I always thought, "Well, I've lived through it. Now I can look back and laugh." I'm not laughing.

I think the scariest part of the whole pregnancy is something you may or may not get: I am afraid to tell people for the reaction I will get. I KNOW my parents will be mad. Well, at least my dad will be. He will say, "Do you really think that was a smart idea?" Umm, Dad, we're not talking about choosing a 5-iron over a 3-wood. We're talking about having a child. And my friends... well, they will have a field day with it. "What? I thought you were done." and "How are you going to do it?" and "Girl, what's wrong with you? Are you turning into Michelle Duggar?" It's so silly - 5 kids is not that many. But I really don't want to face all the negative comments that I inevitably will get.

Being pregnant is supposed to be a time of happiness, anticipation, excitement. All I feel is apprehension, fear, and dread. I hate this - I owe it to this child to be happy and to plan for his/her arrival the way I did for all my other kids. But I know how busy I will be. I know how hard it will be to take care of 3 kids in school while also taking care of a toddler and a newborn. I will be very very crazy for a long time.

Before I found out about #5, I would occasionally have a dream that I was pregnant again, and running around crazily like I did when Linus was a newborn and I had another child 18 months and another 3 years old. I would be ridiculously busy, and while I slept I would have this overwhelming feeling of dread creep over me. I'd wake up and say "Whew! It was only a dream." But this time it's not.

I don't want to offend any moms out there. I know a child is a gift from God. We would never in a million years choose anything but full term life for this child. I really am hoping I don't get a shitstorm of comments like,"How dare you call a pregnancy anything less than a complete miracle! You should count yourself lucky! You know there are women out there who can't have a baby and you are being so nonchalant about it all. It's offensive." Yes, a baby is a miracle and a blessing. We are blessed and we know how lucky we are to have children. I know women who are unable to have children, or who want children but aren't even married yet. I feel so much sadness for these friends and I don't want to minimize the miracle of this pregnancy or any other. I don't want to even get started on the whole argument of, "If you didn't want any more children, you should have been more careful." All I am going to say about that is that for personal reasons, we have limited choices for conception control options. This month, I guess my math did not add up correctly. Presto: child #5 on the way. We have always said that any child would be a blessing, and that we will welcome any number of children God decides to give us. It is just the day-to-day logistics that is truly frightening to me.

I asked Texan Papa, "How do you feel about this baby? Would you say you're happy about the pregnancy?" We just looked at each other and kinda smiled. I don't know if "happy" is the right word, at least not right now. We definitely aren't mad, or angry, or upset. I think we're just in shock. We really thought we were being careful (relatively) and we really thought that when/if we had more children, it would be more of a decision we made than a decision that was made for us. I think a more accurate description of our emotions would be nervous optimism.

Maybe this is God's way to show me how I need to lean on Him more and on my own self-sufficiency less. Maybe - no, definitely - this child will teach me something I have not learned yet. Certainly whatever is in the future will be a joy, but it is scary too. Change is never comfortable and I believe that we are always afraid of what we don't know. I have no idea what it's like to live with 5 children. Already, when I go to Wal-Mart or the grocery store, I feel like a shepherd with all my wandering sheep. And my vehicle? Well, let's just say that any hopes of me getting into a carpool with another mom is pretty much shot now. But whatever is coming, I feel a teensy weensy bit more prepared than I was when Linus was born, because I know what it's like to have a toddler and a newborn. It's very crazy and I will just basically have an air-tight excuse for the house to become a pigsty until the baby is about 2 years old. But my sanity? Will it be there 5 years from now? Hard to say. And my stomach? Well, any chances of it ever going back to semi-normal size are completely gone now. Oh, that reminds me... I have my 20-year high school reunion in 2010. I guess I should start shopping now for an industrial-strength girdle. And searching for TWO available babysitters (can you even get a single babysitter to sit for 5 kids anymore?) I wonder if they will have an award for the person with the most children?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Testing. Testing. 1, 2...

Testing. Testing. 1, 2...




Tuesday, October 14, 2008

SIT right down and put up your feet

Good day to every one of you. It's a beautiful Tuesday. My kids are finally back to school after a long 3-day weekend, and I am enjoying the solace. Now is the time that I like to sit down with a cold Diet Coke and maybe some Chicken in a Biskit Crackers, and peruse my blogs. Tuesday is always a very busy day in the blog world. Monday is busy too, but I think Monday is much like a day of recovery from the weekend of sleeping in, drinking, eating, and merriment.

Since I started blogging in June I have found lots of great blogs - sometimes I follow a funny comment from a blog I'm already reading, read the profile of the commenter, and check out the blog. Sometimes I get suggestions from friends. But the main place I have found new blogs to check out is at SITS - The Secret is In The Sauce.
Every day at SITS has a new featured blogger. These bloggers are all very different. Some are artsy & craftsy, some are philosophical, some are half-crazy (like me!), some are really great cooks. Basically, if you have any interests of any type, you will find someone who writes a blog you will like by just checking out SITS. Plus, the SITS gals encourage ladies (so far it has been all ladies but I'm sure men would not be turned away) to share the bloggy love at every blog she visits by leaving comments... C'mon, we all love comments. Plus, it is a great way to increase readership and meet new bloggers. Oh, and don't even get me started on all the awesome stuff they give away: A Cricut die-cut machine, custon monogrammed backpacks, purses, jewelry, a digital camera, just to name a few. You just have to check out SITS to see what they do - and they do it so well!!!

Here are some of the fabulous women I met by visiting SITS:

Amanda at Even The Nice Ones - she is so funny, and real, and she doesn't hold back. She's my kind of lady.

Anna at An Inch of Gray - Now, she is honest but knows how to be tactful. And she's always so upbeat and positive. I swear, it's like I can picture her smiling while typing.

Jen at Buried with Children. She has a 3 year old preschooler and 15-month-old triplets! 4 kids literally under 4. At one point I guess she's even had 4 kids under 3! That makes me tired just thinking about it. And she works as a nurse. And she has time to blog. I am thinking that she must not sleep, or else she's lifting some of the pills from her "less aware" patients. Just Kidding Jen!

Heather at Nobody But Yourself - Heather is a hoot! She is smart and funny and always has a great story. She can make buying a calendar into a funny story with lots of great details.

Deb over at This is the Life and Blog Around the World - She is one busy lady. She runs TWO blogs and one of them is managing 50 states and other blogs out of the country! Still, she is able to leave upbeat comments and post very thoughtful and insightful posts. What a gal!

Go check out some of these ladies. Even better, subscribe yourself to SITS and they will send you a new Featured Blogger every day! What could be finer?

Have a wonderful Tuesday and be sure to come back again!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Woot! You can Goggle me!

Yes, I know I typed "Goggle". That's because that's what my kids call it. For some reason, they say "goggle" and I think it's cute.
Charlie Brown: "Mom, I goggled 'dinosaur' and a bunch of pictures came up!"

So anyway, I love to check my Stat Counter every once in a while and look at the "keyword entries" - the way people find their way to my blog after goggling something.

The single most popular Goggle keyword entry is "lego poop". Can you believe it? I posted with that exact title back in July. Apparently I am not the only one who wonders what happens to a lego once it enters the mouth of no return. I was curious to find out what else would come up with a search about "Lego Poop" so I went on a fishing expedition.

I found this very funny, very insightful post about legos, and today's financial crisis. I thought it was very well written and it really made me chuckle, and a bit nostalgic! Go check it out!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

And my first giveaway goes to...

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

2 

Timestamp: 2008-10-11 05:08:43 UTC


Congratulations Scary Mommy. I will be sending you your yummy Country Bob's sauce ASAYSMYI - As soon as you send me your information.

And for the other ladies who entered, you're in luck too. I am going to send you some coupons for FREE bottles of Country Bob's sauce. See, everyone's a winner here at Texan Mama's place. Just email me with your info so I can get it in the mail ASAYSMYI.

Thanks for playing!

Friday, October 10, 2008

A post about Non-Politics

First of all, don't forget to enter my Country Bob's giveaway. You have to post a comment on this post by 11:59pm tonight (Friday).

Now, I am not going to talk about politics. It is boring, isn't it? Well, it's boring for me to listen to. Actually, more like, all the arguing gives me a headache. Like my kids arguing.

I'd like to tell the Deomcrats and the Republicans, You better play nice. Don't make me come over there!! I would like to see the candidates just promote their own issues and leave the other guys/gals alone. Talk positively about themselves and just be above all the negative talk. Why should this be so hard? It seems to me like all the candidates can do to make themselves seem worthy is to prove how unworthy their opponents are.

So, Here's what I'm proposing to all bloggers out there: If you are going to post about politics, write a post in FAVOR of the candidate you like. Talk positively about his/her platform. Try very hard to avoid making any negative comments about the opposing ticket.

It will sure make the blogging environment less nasty!

Thanks to all who decide to participate!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It' like eatin in the Country

Okay, now I know I have officially escaped from obscurity. I know this because I was contacted by a lovely little company called Country Bob's to review their product on this blog. At first I was all, "how did you get this e-mail address??" and "hell no I'm not giving you my address to send a free sample to" and "don't they know I only have like a handful of readers? What is this... advertising suicide?" But I considered myself flattered and I looked up the company online. I found their 1-800 phone number and I called them. I asked for the guy, Al, and sure 'nuff, he was there. The company was fo' real, so I introduced myself. He seemed to know who I was (or else he covered well) and explained that he'd send me some free samples of his product and some coupons for free product as well. So, I was game.

Country Bob's is a company that produces an all-purpose sauce that's kind-of a cross between ketchup and barbecue sauce. It's smoky, but it's also tangy. I used it on Sunday night to make some Chicken Breasts. Now, I love Barbecue sauce but this product is not called barbecue sauce. I don't think it's called steak sauce either, because you can put it on lots of stuff. Like I said, I used it when I cooked chicken. Here's what I did: I took my 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts and I browned them in some EVOO in the frypan (3 at a time). Then, I mixed some Country Bob's sauce with some water in a measuring cup (just enough to water it down a little) and poured it into the pan with all the chicken breasts. I brought it to a boil then turned it down to simmer, with a lid on. I let it do that for about 15 minutes. The chicken breasts were perfect! Seasoned and yummy but definitely not overpowering. Now, I could have topped them with some swiss cheese and popped them in the toaster to melt the cheese then put them on a bun. But me and Texan Papa were hungry so we just cut them up and ate them like that. They were YUM-O as my BFF Rachel Ray would say. (As you can see in the picture above, they also make Spicy All-Purpose Sauce, Seasoning Salt, and yes indeed, Barbecue Sauce). Photo courtesy of Country Bob's.

Y'all are in luck, because I am going to GIVE YOU some Country Bob's for your very own self. You may choose to drink it straight out of the bottle but me, I'm not crazy like that. I'd suggest you put it on some type of meat. So, if you are a vegetarian, pour it on some broccoli and let me know how that turns out! Anyway, leave a comment here by 11:59pm (CST) on Friday evening and I will pick a winner using some Random Number Generator thingy that I have seen so many bloggers use. I don't know where I'm gonna find it or if I can make my brain figure it out, but I always have a backup plan (and by backup plan, I mean I will write your name on a piece of paper, put all the names in a hat, and ask Peppermint Patty to pick one out of the hat).

Good luck everybody!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Whipping it out in public

**Editing note: After many responses, some not so positive, I have to explain that this post is not criticizing breastfeeding moms, moms who breastfeed in public, and definitely not saying that women should not be allowed to breastfeed in public. All I did was share what I saw with you all in cyberspace. I wasn't making judgments. I wasn't trying to sway anyone to my point of view. I was simply posting about seeing a woman breastfeeding in public while walking around. I didn't say she was a twit, or that she was a bad mom, or that she shouldn't be doing that. If anything, I said I was neither offended nor shocked. I just felt very weird because it was so different from my own experience. I would feel the same way if, even though I attend church every Sunday, I saw a person screaming out about Jesus in a public square. I share the Gospel of Jesus but that type of behavior is very different from what I usually engage myself in, and is also quite out of my comfort zone.

So, go ahead and read this post but please if you're offended just go ahead and click somewhere else.**

What do you think when you see a mom breastfeeding in public?

IN THEORY, all mothers probably believe "Oh it's so natural! It's a woman's right!"

IN PRACTICE, I can only speak for myself, but it always causes me an internal conflict, much like a car accident: I know I should look away, but I am drawn to the visual. I try to avert my eyes, but I keep looking... keep trying to catch a small glimpse of what's going on... You see, I had some issues breastfeeding half of my 4 children. I had no problems with kids #2 and #4, but I had problems galore with kids #1 and #3. So, I'm often intrigued when I watch a mom breastfeeding - how is she covering herself up? How is that kid staying latched on for so long without wiggling and moving and kicking and squiggling? Can she breastfeed with one arm or does it take her both arms to do the job? How long does the breastfeeding take her? How old is that baby? Even though I feel like I "got it right" with 2 of my kids, I am always interested in watching what other people do with their own kids and how they do it. Kinda like being a fly on the wall. And, just so you know, I do the same thing when I see a kid being naughty and the kid's mom is about to discipline him/her. I want to see how the parent handles it and if it affects the kid. Must... not... stare.... Wait! Don't talk so quiet!! Don't put your back to me - I can't see!!!

Anyhoo, I was going to tell you a story about whipping it out in public. Okay, here goes:

So, the other day I took baby Sally to the pumpkin patch. It was so cute. Here's a picture to show you:
We went to the pumpkin patch with my mom's group. We met up at 10:30 on a Friday, so you know the only folks there are homeschoolers or moms with kids preschool age or younger. I should expect mom-type of behaviors there, right? So, I don't know why I was so surprised when I saw a mom walking around while breastfeeding her newborn. Yes, she was walking around. And she wasn't even trying to cover up with a blanket or anything. Or even her jacket! Now, I'm not squeamish, but I really didn't want to see a flash of her boobies. I tried to just stay on the other side of the field, by the little tiny apple-sized baby pumpkins. But I don't know why I felt what I felt. Was it shock? Was I offended? Really, I think I was just weirded out. When my kids were newborn, I pretty much had to have complete silence and it had to be the right temperature in the room and I had to have the exactly same chair with the same number and placement of pillows if I expected the breastfeeding sitch to work. Any variations of the plan and I would be sunk. So to see a mom walking around a pumpkin patch letting her child suck away on the nip, well, I just couldn't handle it.

Once, when Charlie Brown was a baby, (that was 2 states ago), the whole family went to eat at Chi-Chi's restaurant in Appleton, Wisconsin (long since closed now). I had never nursed in public, but I gave it a shot. We were in a corner booth, and I was squashed up against the table. I think I even bent down a little bit so that Charlie Brown could have a comfortable placement against my chest (even though I was cramping up in my back). It looked like I was shoving him under the table while trying to investigate a tiny particle on the tabletop. Anyway, I was SO desperately afraid someone would see me or I that I would subject them to seeing one tiny inch of my breast. Texan Papa even sat next to me and held out his flannel shirt like a curtain. The whole performance was quite embarrassing, to say the least. Now, though, I'm an old pro and watching a woman breastfeed should be no big deal right? I mean, we see women's appendages all the time in R-rated movies, right?

Maybe I just need to grow up. Sheesh.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Life Cycle of a Woman

My beautiful and intelligent daughter, Peppermint Patty, decided to draw a picture the other day. This picture was neither at the request nor suggestion of a single person. When she presented it to me, she said, "Look Mama. This is the Life Cycle of a Woman". Here it is:

The cycle begins as a young baby, then moves on to a little freckle-faced girl with pigtails, then onto a more mature young woman with longer hair, and finally a mother with the appropriate anatomy to sustain life for a baby.

Please take a closer look at the very "flattering" picture of the mother


Oh yeah-huh that mom is showing nipple.

Now, I am not sure what my role as a mother had to play in this visual adaptation of the Life Cycle of a Woman. I'd like to believe that I have not hid God's plan from my daughter, that I have taught her by example that it is His plan for a mother to give basic nourishment to her child. But I really think that the TRUE answer is that I need to learn how to put a shirt on more often. Modesty is not my forte.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Education of a Person, Part 5

Okay, I MUST put up another post pronto and get that pathetic jumble of nonsense out of the lead post position. I must say, after that post I called my husband - bawling - and told him that I was on my way to pick the kids up from school and that I would be leaving straightaway with the children to go to St. Louis to see my family. We'd be gone for a week, so see ya. He reminded me that we had company coming in from New Orleans to see us next week. Shit. So much for my escape.

When Texan Papa got home, he sat on the couch and let me lay my head on his shoulder and he stroked my hair and asked me what I needed him to do to make this better.

COULD I ASK FOR A MORE AMAZING MAN? I think not.

Anyway, on to No Child Left Behind... part 5. This section will cover "Highly Qualified Teachers". This is a hotly debated topic. I think we all want our children to be taught by teachers who love their jobs and know their content. Besides being teachers, they also have to be disciplinarians, nurturers, money-counters, boo-boo healers, story tellers, as well as having excellent interpersonal skills with parents, other teachers, children, and the principal. They have to be able to work a copy machine, overhead projector, smart board (if you don't know what those are, click here), various computer programs, graphing calculators, ScanTron test grading machine, laminating machine, and a die-cut punch machine to make educational and entertaining bulletin boards. It is a given that they will take their work home with them 85% of the time. Their lunch break usually consists of 25 minutes of eating on-site while babysitting 50 kids in a lunch room. Teachers are expected to juggle all of these responsibilities while being paid at 3/4 rate of a mainstream job (because, after all, they are only working 3/4 of the year). They are expected to know and love every student, to be engaging and entertaining equally as much at 8am as at 2:30pm. They are expected to not make mistakes, to not have social lives, and to put the school first in their priorities.

Can you think of another profession that has these kind of requirements? Maybe a physician? Well, I'd be perfectly content earning 3/4 of a physician's annual salary. You can tell, I am a little bit biased. I have been a teacher for 5 years. I have tutored, I have worked at Sylvan Learning Centers, I have volunteered, I have substitute taught, and now I have been the parent of a child being cared for by a teacher. I feel like I've run the gamut of the teaching profession. I have seen it from almost every vantage point. I've observed some shameful teacher behavior. I've also observed some of the most amazing integrity and character from humans in teachers. I've seen people who clearly love students and love teaching. I've seen folks who obviously were only in teaching to get through until retirement, or to collect a paycheck so they could have their summers off, or even (it seemed) to enjoy the power trip of the authority they hold over students in the same way it was held over them when they were students.

Face it: to some people, teaching is a career. To some, teaching is just a job. And I think, this is what the NCLB legislation is trying to work on by getting teachers who want to teach, to be better; and teachers who don't want to teach, to find a new career path.

Under No Child Left Behind legislation, some teachers may be subject to some changes that previously allowed them to be in the classroom. I'll try to sum it up briefly:
By June 30, 2006, All teachers must be "highly qualified", which means...
  • fully licensed/certified by the state
  • Holds at least a B.S. from a 4-year institution
  • Demonstrates competence in each core subject he/she teaches
These regulations apply only to teachers in public schools (whether or not the school receives Title I funds) who teach core subject matter (English, reading, language arts, mathematics, science, foreign languages, civics and government, social studies, economics, arts, history, geography, and kindergarten through Grade 6 (K-6)). Non-core academic subjects are those like workplace development - we used to call it Vo-Tech.

Teachers who, in the past, had licenses that were "temporary", "emergency", "provisional", etc. got those licenses because the school wanted them to fill a need to teach more cost-effectively or more speedily than the school could solve the problem by hiring a new teacher specifically for that subject. Under new legislation, all those type of licenses or certification are no longer valid and will no longer be issued. Any teacher who teaches MUST be knowledgeable (measurably so) in his/her content area. (isn't this a good thing for our children? I'm even a teacher and while I see this is a pain, isn't it what's best for our kids' education?)

Teachers become "highly qualified" after passing a rigorous test for their content area (Elementary, Middle, or High school) or by having an academic major in the content area, or a graduate degree in the content area, or National Board certification in the content area (Middle or High school only). For schools in rural areas, where many teachers must teach multiple subjects due to low enrollment and smaller class sizes, the Feds have allowed them some flexibility. However, by today's date, every teacher in every school across the USA should be "Highly Qualified". For more answers about HQT, check out this website. And, if you're a teacher, check out this very cool tool by the NEA (National Education Agency) to take the quiz: see if you're "highly qualified"!

What is the consequence if a teacher is not "highly qualified"? Well, simply, they lose their job. Of course, that is up to the local district to enforce.

But my feelings are, why is this a big deal? I am a teacher - not currently but I do have a current license - and I would expect that any school I work at would only hire me if I were qualified to teach in my subject area. And as for the teachers who have taught a subject for many years, and therefore have experience but not the necessary credentials to match? Well then, I say, just take the state test and if you really know your stuff like you think you do, it will be a snap and then PRESTO! You will be highly qualified! I mean, who wants their kids being taught Algebra by the History teacher? Or History by the Driver's Ed teacher? Or literature by the Algebra teacher? I could tell you how to find the difference of squares, how many radians are in a full rotation, or how to calculate the lengths of the sides of a right triangle. But ask me to thoughtfully discuss a poem? I probably couldn't do it if I wanted to win a million dollars. I don't know Charlotte Bronte from Charlotte York. Do you really want me reading "The Grapes Of Wrath" with your child-student because I had an extra free period in my schedule and the school had one extra class full of English students?

I'm just going to say this, then we'll call the matter of NCLB closed: This legislation was put together to benefit children. To benefit families. To benefit the future of our country from being run by people who are of less intelligence. Down the line - 20, 30, 40 years from now - on whom will the blame fall? Not the parents. Not the teachers. Not even the individuals. The blame will fall where it always falls - the one group who is always ganged up on - the government. GOD FORBID the people who are in control actually try to control us. GOD FORBID the people who we elect actually work to make our schools a better place. And, GOD FORBID those people make us do something which is inconvenient, the tiniest bit hard, or possibly every once in a while not to our liking. It is so amazing that in this country of millions and millions of people, the government can't just get it right and make 100% of the people happy 100% of the time.

Do I think the NCLB legislation is perfect? Definitely not. There are holes. There are some biases. Does that mean it should be thrown out? Absolutely not. Again I say Absolutely not! The folks who put this legislation together did so to make our teachers be the kind of teachers we want for our children. They did it to make our educational system the type that other countries will look to as a model of what an educational system should be. They did it to serve the majority of the students in the majority of the schools. They obviously cannot account for every specific case in every school. Undoubtedly there will be some students who will suffer because of this legislation. I believe that the Federal Government has done much of what they can to fill the gaps and even out the biases. They've done this through amendments and new legislation and with some accepted flexibility. Looking ahead at any situation and ascribing it to a whole society is really a gamble: you can't tell ahead what will happen. In retrospect, of course, it is easy to look back and say "Oh, we forgot to account for that" or "Oh, we really missed this" or "Well we didn't think this would be a problem but it sure looks like we misjudged". I am just SO tired of people bitching and complaining about how NCLB is a pile of trash and needs to be thrown out. However, I do LOVE the people who are pro-active about a solution and get involved with their local, state, and national teachers organizations to work toward improving legislation so that it IS more equitable to everyone and IS more beneficial to our teachers and our students.

I think that, nowadays, many people just aren't happy unless they are complaining about something. I swear, complaining seems to be the common thread of communication nowadays. Listen to a conversation to the group ahead of you in line at the movies, or walking around a mall, or on the sidelines at a soccer game. I am willing to bet that for every positive comment you hear, you will hear at least 3 criticisms, put-downs, or items of gossip about someone else. NCLB, of course, has not escaped this trap. If you are truly angry about this topic, I would encourage you to let your anger fester inside of you, until you are SO mad that you are spurred into action! Because talking about a problem does nothing but make the problem worse. Working toward a solution not only ends the cycle of non-productivity, but it can also be an example to your children of how our government works - led by the people, for the people.

(I hope that comment is right. See, I shouldn't teach history or civics either).

Friday, October 3, 2008

What's a Mom to Do?

Our family moved here in late April from Illinois. We lived in a very rural area. My husband was a pastor at a church there, and our house was next door to the church. Our little town was not only a place to live, but a place to worship too and a place to socialize. That's the way it is in little farm towns.

When we moved there, I felt very isolated. I didn't know anyone, and it was February - so it was really cold and I couldn't even get out and push my stroller. Little did I know that I wouldn't be able to do it in the summer either because all the roads were gravel. The only paved road had a 55 mph speed limit. Anyway, I didn't know how to meet people. You'd think, being the pastor's wife, that everyone would welcome me in. Well, they did and they were very sweet. But, I think people wanted to respect my privacy and not be too pushy. Also, it just turned out that most of the moms at our church that were my age were working moms. Even in the preschool, all of Peppermint Patty's schoolmates had moms who worked.

Eventually I met friends, though. It took about a year. During that time, I also grieved the loss of my friends from our previous home in Wisconsin. When we moved to IL, they all swore "We'll stay in touch! We'll e-mail and write letters!" But within 3 months only two had written or e-mailed, and at 6 months, only 1 was left e-mailing. I was crushed. At a time when I needed a friend so badly, I was in one situation where I was being dumped and in another situation where I was being left out.

Now, fast forward to today. We've been in Texas for about 5 months. When Texan Papa just told me about the possibility of the move, I told him, "I am not talking about this. We are not moving. I just established friends and I am enjoying myself. I don't want to go." Well, as the Lord would do, He just presented a few signals to us that it was time for our family to move. I did NOT want to move, but I saw it was inevitable. I tried to take lemons and make lemonade - Hey, we're moving to a bigger town. Lots of stuff to do! Lots of people to meet! And, now, almost 6 months into our move, I am in almost the same boat again: being left out from my new friends, and instead of being dumped by my old friends I am being missed terribly by my old friends, which makes it that much harder to just accept where we are now. Every day I think about our home & our friends & our kids' school in IL. There are so many things about living here in TX that I do not like. I really am trying to put on a happy face about it, but I miss my old friends, I miss my kids' school, I miss our old church, I even miss my husband's preaching. At his new job now, he does not preach anymore so I never hear him at the pulpit.

I am sorry - I know this sounds like a big pity party for me, but I just got all my emotions stirred up today. Let me explain...

I went to a pumpkin patch today with baby Sally. We went to meet up with a moms group that I joined. I joined the group almost immediately after we moved here, so I've known these moms a while now. I even have hosted 3 events at my own house. Now today, when all the moms were standing around, taking pictures & talking, I heard many moms pointedly ask another specific mom (not me, but RIGHT in front of me), "Oh, hey, I'm going shopping tomorrow. Just thought I'd let you know in case you'd like to come" and "Oh are you going to that thing at the mall tomorrow? I thought I'd check because I can meet you there." or "oh remember when we went out last week? Well, where was son-and-so? I thought she was coming?" Etc. I am so tired of being the outsider. These moms are really nice and really genuine. I don't doubt for one moment that if I jumped in and said, "Hey, I'd like to come." that they'd be fine with it. But for just once, I'd like to be the one invited instead of inviting myself or having to invite others.

I have to say that I'm just not in a very good place right now. I am trying so so so hard not to be resentful of my husband for dragging us all down here. Our kids, while they are doing okay, say to me at least once a week, "I really miss Illinois. I wish we could move back there." Inside, I'm saying "ME TOO!! ME TOOO!!!!!!" I want to be supportive of him, and I know that this move is good for him, but I don't know if it was good for the whole family. But there is more to the story that I just can't get into. Suffice it to say, that I feel like our family is going to be at the mercy of my husband's job whims. Even with this last move, I told him, "Sometimes people don't have a perfect job. You just have to put up with it because every job has good parts and bad parts. We can't keep moving every 3 or 4 years. I won't do it! I can't do it!" And yet.... here we are.

I love him and I want to support him. I want to be the support he needs because if I were in his shoes I would want his support too. I think this is the time when marriage is worst, but also best. It is the time when things are hard that you can't go at it alone. But I am so frustrated. He never shows emotion. If I tell him that the kids miss our previous home, he says, "Well, they'll get over it. We're here now." or "No they don't! They are just saying that because they're bored with what's going on here." But I know that's not true. And if I say that I miss our previous home, I'm afraid it will cause a problem for him. He's right - we're here now, so there is no use boo-hooing about moving back, because we won't.

So here I am, typing away at cyber people who have never laid eyes on me, never seen me in real life. I would SO love to feel like someone wants me to go to coffee with her. I don't need a new BFF - I have one of those. I just wish I had someone who could make me smile. Right now between responsibilities at home, and his crazy schedule, and the fact that he never seems to be "feeling well", Texan Papa is not that person.

I just don't like who I am right now. I am nervous all the time. I walk around, trying to accomplish something - anything - and I get side-tracked. I end up having a hundred half-done projects and a big mess. I am not being very patient with my kids. I am not being forgiving with anyone. I don't even have the energy or the time to go to the gym. I don't think I'm fat but I also hate my body. After 4 kids, my skin hangs like a gastric bypass patient's.

I have no idea why I'm writing all this. I guess I just have to tell someone. There, I told you.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Education of a Person, Part 4B

Okay, this is called Part 4B because I was supposed to talk about AYP in part 4, but I am *CRAZY* busy this week. I was supposed to have a friend come over yesterday (she bailed - but not after I scrubbed every square inch of the house), I had to tutor last night, today is Peppermint Patty's 9th birthday (meaning I make a cake and make a special meal) and tomorrow is Sally's FIRST BIRTHDAY (I am already tearing up just thinking about it. Oh, and that also means another cake and another special meal.) So anyway, I had to split part 4 into to sections. So here we are.

Ready for some more NCLB? I'll try to make it straight to the point today.

AYP stands for Adequate Yearly Progress. NCLB requires states to assess children in grades 3-8 every year in reading and mathematics, and just recently they will also be required to have assessment in science once in grades 3-5, once in grades 6-8, and once in grades 9-10. Individual states may choose to assess students on more material, like history and geography, but that is at the discretion of each state.

Each state has to define AYP levels for themselves, while keeping the expectations high for students so that they continue to challenge themselves and work hard. AYP must represent continuous improvement from year to year.

While each state must set high standards for student achievement, only schools which receive Title I funds will face sanctions from the federal government if those high standards are not met. Like I said in previous posts, "sanctions" means things like losing federal funds and mandatory school choice, which means a family may choose another public school to which to send their children, one that has been meeting AYP.

As far as schools that do not receive Title I funds, the individual states are responsible for monitoring their schools' Adequate Yearly Progress. It is the goal of NCLB for all students to meet or exceed their schools high expectations by school year 2013-2014, at a minimum being at proficiency level or better in both reading and mathematics. Standards are set by each individual state, in line with the principle of local control of schools and in order to comply with the Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, which specifies that powers not granted to the federal government nor forbidden to state governments are reserved powers of the individual states. You can see what the Department of Education says about AYP here.

I haven't really been able to figure out: What if a non-Title I school does not make AYP, but does attempt to improve itself, but fails? Then what? There don't seem to be any clear answers. I might call the DOE tomorrow, and if you have any questions you can call them too. The number is 1-800-USA-LEARN. (1-800-872-5327).

I think the last topic I'm going to tackle, and it's a sticky one, is the idea of "Highly Qualified Teachers". Who defines that? What are the specifics? How does it help kids? How does it hurt professional teachers?

The story continues...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Education of a Person, Part 4

Part 1: The Question

Part 2: What is No Child Left Behind?

Part 3: Funding and who NCLB affects

Today: Part 4: Testing and AYP

I think one of the most controversial parts about the No Child Left Behind legislation is the mandated testing for kids. Testing does have its pros. Standardized Testing allows kids to perform the learned skills they have acquired. Standardized Testing creates an even playing field for all kids in each grade level, when they are all given the exact same test. Standardized Testing is a good way to measure, objectively, the progress a child is making from the beginning to the end of a school year.

Testing also has its cons: Standardized tests are a good method of assessment for just a very specific group of learners; it does not account for kids who are tactile, kinesthetic, auditory, verbal, etc. Also, Standardized Tests only allow for answers that are specific; without open-ended questions students are often unable to express that they know and understand the answer but possibly the answer choices may be confusing. And, just plain old testing in general - it takes money to develop the tests, time is taken away from classroom instruction to administer the tests, more time and money is used to grade the tests, and also to interpret the results.

The NCLB legislation only requires that students be tested in the area of reading/language arts, math, and science. Individual states may require that students be tested in other areas, such as history, geography, and writing skills.

Under NCLB, all children in grades 3-8 are to be tested every year in reading and math, and once again sometime between grades 9-12. Science must be tested 3 times, once during each of three grade intervals (3-5, 6-9, 10-12). Further, any schools with limited English-proficient students must also administer tests of English proficiency each year, to assess oral skills, reading, and writing skills.

Schools must test at least 95% of their students, including subgroups like students with disabilities and students with limited English proficiency. Schools must provide reasonable accomodations for students with disabilities, but I'm not sure what those accomodations are. Like, extended time? Well, even if it takes a student 4 weeks to complete a test, do we really want to put a child through that? I'm not sure.

Lots of folks say that testing causes teachers to "teach to the test", meaning they teach the information that will be on the test and ignore other parts of the curriculum. Okay, here's the part where I may get some people upset...

The tests have been designed to assess the MOST important skills that a child needs before moving on to other parts of school. So if a teacher is limiting his/her time on subjects like Art, Music, Health, and History, but pouring more information and learning into Math and Language Arts, then I think it is okay. Yes, of course all the other subjects are important too. But can a person be productive in society at large without being able to name all the presidents, or know the difference between a bacterial and viral infection, or be able to sight read music? Yes, they can do just fine in the real world. But what if they don't have the ability to read? Or the ability to do simple math? These are the skills that they need to simply be good citizens of their community. If they can't read, they can't vote. If they can't read, they can't read road signs while driving. If they can't do math, they can't fill out a simple tax form. If they can't do math, they won't be able to keep track of a bank book. Or cook with fractions. Or compare prices in the grocery store. Countries like Japan, India, and China are churning out children who can run circles around American children when it comes to academics. Is it the genetics? Hmm, maybe but I don't think so. I think it has to do with the work ethic and focus on acquisition of knowledge. I feel like American schools are more focused on "development of the whole child". While I agree, that is very important, our school system produces plenty of graduates who know more about the rules of soccer or how to load your iPod with songs than they do about Algebra or Written Composition. I think we could do just fine - better than fine - if we focused more on academics and less on the extras. And that doesn't mean that we should get rid of those classes or teachers. I just think (my opinions here) that some subjects could be offered as before-school classes or after-school classes, for free, and be called "enrichment classes". Teachers would still be employed. Classes would be offered at the school. More time could be devoted to math and reading.

And, something to consider: If a teacher is able to teach information to students, and they get it, then the teacher is simply doing what he/she is supposed to do! If a group of students as a whole cannot make progress from September 1 to May 1, then maybe that teacher DOES need to take a break from teaching and take some teacher inservice classes or re-evaluate his/her position at the school.

Here is an awesome link to lots of these questions and answers from the point of view of the Federal Government.

I believe we can all agree on one thing: If schools continue to test our children for their math and reading skills, they will eventually become more relaxed with the process. If your child (who's 2 and a half) is planning to go to Medical School, He (or she) had better get ready for those MCATs. And what better way to get more comfortable with standardized tests than... to... take standardized tests? For now, these tests are a necessary evil so instead of hating them we need to learn to just live with them.

I'm pooped out so I'll talk about AYP (adequate Yearly Progress) next time!