Teaching Them Young

We've been saying the "Our Father" with our daughter since she was born. This is proof positive that God is watching over us all!

Things I'm Loving Right Now

Things I'm loving right now, and why:

1. This potty chair.

I have always claimed that I'm not a "bells and whistles" girl. But I swear, once I tried this potty seat I can now guarantee that it is worth the money. Granted, I got it free from a friend, but if I had to buy one all over again I would buy this one, no matter what the cost is. There is a sensor inside it that sounds a musical congratulatory song when pee is put into the potty. So, if Sally pee-pees when I'm not looking, I still hear the song go off and I go into my freakishly insane potty dance! YOU PEED ON THE POTTY! YOU ARE AWESOME!!! SOON YOU'LL BE DOING QUANTUM PHYSICS TOO!!! YOU ARE THE SMARTEST CHILD ON THE PLANET!!! etc. You know, the whole praise thing.

(By the way, NO that's not a turd on the floor. It's a little miniature skateboard.)

2. Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

No one else in my family likes them except me. Too bad for them. Oh so good for me.

3. Lactose-Free Reduced Fat Milk.

(Angelic Choir singing) Halelujah! I love milk but little Baby Violet, not so much. Dairy products make her tummy hurt and I'm still breastfeeding. So, I'm still off cheese, sour cream, yogurt, etc. But milk? I can drink this milk and it doesn't affect her! This makes #2 above so much better.

4. YOU! Thank you my bloggy friends for lifting my spirits yesterday. Really, I was just in a momentary funk. You know... when you give your kids chocolate milk and they say I wanted Kool-Aid. Or, you get out an extra roll of toilet paper, just to be prepared, then it falls into the toilet. You know what I mean. Just one of those days...

But today is better already. Now, I just have to get through the rest of the weekend with Texan Papa working all weekend long. It's just me and the natives. And they're restless. Yea. I better go get another Oatmeal Raisin cookie...

One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days when you feel shitty, and you want someone to hug you? But you don't want to ask for the hug, you just want it given to you?

That's today.

One of those days when you don't want to make dinner, and you don't necessarily want anyone else to make it either. You just want everyone to be happy with not having any food.

That's today.

A day when you look and see, around every turn, another unfinished project or pile that needs to be sorted or box that needs to be taken to Goodwill.

That's today.

Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure. But today, I've had to slay dragons (aka deal with the dental insurance bastards) and play the jester (aka amuse a tantruming two-year-old). Remind me again, when do I get to be queen?

Dodging the Odyssey

Texan Papa and I are new-minivan shopping.

The first thing I have to say about that is, Where have all the minivans gone?

Chevy? none.
Ford? Gone - or, well, converted into a 3rd row crossover minivan don't-wannabe.
Hyunda? Nope
GM? Nuh-uh
Toyota? I'm not even gonna go there (Sienna isn't recalled but still...)
Pontiac? Got eaten by the economy

So, basically, I can get a Honda Odyssey or a Dodge Grand Caravan or a Nissan Quest or Kia Sedona. What's the deal there? Why has everyone gotten rid of their line of minivans and just changed them into those spaceshipy-looking crossover vehicles?

So far we've looked just at the Odyssey and the Grand Caravan. And, I have to admit, I was reluctant to look at the Odyssey because I feel like Hondas are kinda for people who like things a little bit... um... nicer. And who are willing to pay for it. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! But, I feel like I'm kinda cheap and I'm okay with that. Now, I don't want my car breaking down because of cheap parts, but at the same time I don't want to pay top dollar for something just because of its name.

So, to be fair to the Honda, I gave it a test drive. I checked it out. And... meh. Well, actually, it was nice. But not nicer than the Dodge. They both had good points and bad points. The place where the big difference came in was the price. For about the price of the baseline Honda, I can get a Dodge with lots of extras. And I can get 0% financing (not even an option at Honda, no matter how good our credit is.) I feel that the Honda people are like, "Yeah, these minivans sell themselves, so I really don't have to give you any incentives to get you to buy one."

But I know that women go SQUEE over Honda Odysseys, but I have yet to find the "WOW" factor in that minivan. Some woman was walking around the showroom floor with her daughter at the dealership. She saw us looking at the van and asked us, "Is this your first Honda?" to which I replied, "Well, we're looking but we're not sure. We'll see." She said, "Oh, my Honda is my favorite car EVER! I just love it!" I asked her what she loved about it and she said something about it's easy to get the kids in and out, it's just the right size for them to climb in. And that it's just so nice. I was thinking, Are you for real? Have you been planted here to foist yourself onto unsuspecting moms? Does your husband work here as a salesman or something? I mean, she just didn't really have any solid reasons why her minivan was worth the extra interest I'd be paying on my monthly car payment.

So, people of the world, if you have some earth-shaking reasons why I should buy a Honda or avoid a Caravan, please let your voice be heard! To me! Because I care! I really do!!!!

oh, we're also considering the Kia Sedona but we haven't checked them out yet. I've heard they are a great value, but not too flashy or spectacular. Which, frankly, is okay with me. We don't want the DVD player or leather interior or XM satellite radio. We just want a van that can fit at least 7 people and runs decent and doesn't put us into the poor house.

Okay... I'm open to suggestions...

Eating Crow

So, I was going back through some old posts, and came across this one from August 4th. I was ranting, once again, about the mountain of money I have to throw at Wal-Mart in order to outfit my kids with all the "necessary" school supplies. Although, I have to say that next year I'll be properly armed with batches of manilla drawing paper, red pencils, and low-odor dry erase markers. You see, I've been shopping clearance aisles every week for next year's supplies. So, of course, that means the list will drastically change and I'll be stuck with supplies I don't need but I'll have to shell out $3 a bottle for hand sanitizer. Because, you know, that's the kind of luck I have.

Anyway, I felt a bit hungry for crow as I read the words I typed below about expecting kids to take responsibility for their own actions:

And please, teachers, if you're reading this, PLEASE don't tell me how hard it is to get kids to keep track of their own belongings. Don't you think we already know that? We're their parents!!! And, if they lose their belongings, do the parents expect the teacher to replace them? No, of course not. The parents have to replace them. The student's work may suffer for their own lack of responsibility, but (gasp) it's a life lesson to be learned. If my kid needs colored pencils for a project and he left his at home, then I guess he'll turn his project in late, or have to share with someone else, or get a zero. I think the bottom line is that we (adults) should be doing what is best for the kids, not what is easiest for us. Yeah, sometimes it's a pain in the butt and often times it causes an extra argument. But, I'm a firm believer that the most learning happens from pain.

This paragraph is coming straight outta the mouth of a woman who's never forced her kids to learn from pain. Forgot your lunch at home? I'll run it up to you at school. Left your homework on the bus? I'll e-mail your teacher and explain. Maybe she'll give you an extra day to turn it in. And, science fair projects? Well, you just tell me what you think and I'll type as you talk. Wait, no, let me explain it better for you. Wait, no, why don't you just sit on the chair and I'll tell you when I need you...

It's getting harder and harder to take a stand on anything, because experience seems to be proving me wrong time after time. Trust me, I want to be a hard-a$$. I want to give my kids a hug and tell them, "Oh, I know that's tough. Now you know for next time what to do, so that this doesn't happen again." But, in reality, when they fail I feel like *I* fail. Seeing them get a C on their report card makes me feel like *I* got a C on my report card. It doesn't help that the school sends home an e-mail notice every time a kid gets a grade lower than C on any assignment. Do you have a clue how many assignments are graded every day, for three children??? It's like a little annoying gnat flying around my ear... bzzz... Linus got a 65% on spelling.... bzzz... Peppermint Patty got a 45% on her Civics worksheet... bzzz... your kids are never going to get into college and will live in your spare bedroom until they're 43... bzzz...

And still, Peppermint Patty, Linus, and Charlie Brown have all been straight-A students since the beginning of the year. What the frack am I worried about?

Seriously, someone come over and cut these apron strings. Please. I can't seem to do it myself.

School Daze

I feel like I've been hit by a bus.

Actually, I feel like I've just finished an all-nighter, studying for a Calc final.

But no, I haven't re-enrolled in college. What I have done is help (ahem, help a LOT) two of my three school-age children with their science fair projects.

I am sick to death of talking about atoms and protons and electrons and radiation. I have gotten my fill of molecules and entropy and the effects of heat on particles.

We built an electroscope. . .

We made a rubber band shrink . . .

God, I hope we they get an A.

P.S. That awesome picture of Peppermint Patty's science experiment with my filthy kitchen floor in the background was made using my cool FLIP VIDEO camera that I won from Angie over at 7 Clown Circus. Thanks again Angie!

P.P.S. The electroscope piture is part of my 365 project. Check it out! I'm on day 6!!!

I Guess It Was Inevitable

If you spend enough years as a parent, you're bound to see it all...

kids eating their boogers in public
kids with t-shirts that tell the world their mom is a hottie
kids being pushed in grocery carts, wearing pajamas, at 11pm

After tonight, I may have crossed the threshold of parenthood from "in the trenches" to "in the gutter".

Our family of 7 went out to eat at a chicken restaurant (named for the cartoon character who's a sailor and eats spinach). I was all set to blog about the totally AWESOME climbing structure they have in the play area. It is literally 2 stories high. It snaked around the ceiling of a huge room and had no less than 4 slides. My kids had a wonderful time.

Then, upon leaving, our kids told us about what they saw

Charlie Brown: Dad, up by the top of the purple slide someone wrote 'look at this' then drew an arrow to a big turd.
Texan Papa: Oh, they shouldn't have done that. That's inappropriate.
CB: Yeah, it's gross. And, it smelled too.
TP: Wait, it wasn't just a picture of a turd? It was an ACTUAL turd???
CB: Uh, yeah.
TP: Wait, I want to make sure I understand you. There was a real piece of poo up there?
CB: yes!

I don't know what was worse: knowing that someone pulled down their pants and pooped, or that they possibly left it there on purpose, or that my kids were playing up there and then ate their dinners.

Probably the latter.

But, as a highlight to our evening, our younger son Linus, who's in first grade, decided to use his special drawing paper from his kids' meal to write "Charlie Brown Sucks". Which, at first glance, seems like a bad thing. But Texan Papa and I were impressed that he knew how to spell "sucks".

Parenthood keeps looking better and better to the outsider, doesn't it?

Breakfast

Okay, remember what I wrote yesterday? That stuff about stretching myself and trying new things?


Well, today I'm going to participate in the 100-Word-Challenge as hosted by Velvet Verbosity . The idea is to write on a given prompt, using exactly 100 words. This week's prompt is "breakfast".


Okay, so here goes. Please don't throw rotten tomatoes.

A baby bird is waking up. The sun starts to rise but her eyes are still closed from the previous night’s slumber. Her cry can’t be called a chirp; it’s more akin to a raspy squeak or a faint screech. Her hunger is evident in her tiny voice. She’s desperate and doesn’t care who knows it. Now! I need food now! No, I can’t wait even one more moment. Put the food right into my mouth, Mama. The morning sun now blankets her with warmth, and I draw my baby bird close to my breast as I feed her breakfast.

Back in the Saddle Again

HEYYYY Y'ALL!

I'm back to my old tricks again. As I sit here and type, Violet is asleep for the first extended period in I can't remember how long. And by "extended period", I mean that I'm not holding her and she's not in her carseat and we're not snuggled up together in bed. I mean... I am actually doing something without her attached to me. This adjustment period - when the baby has to learn to sleep on her own, or else cry after 5 brief minutes of slumber - is my signal loud and clear that I am too damn old to have any more babies. Actually, I'm not too old, I'm just too damn broken. My back hurts, my knees hurt, my feet hurt, my neck hurts... and I'm only 38.

I'm 38. Today. That's the same age my mom was when she had me.

This makes me really sad, because I realize that my kids will never experience my parents as "fun grandparents". My parents are already showing their age (at 76 and 75) and the future isnt looking up for them (healthwise). I wish my kids could know my parents and enjoy them, but deep down I know that tmy kids will have the same relationship with my parents that I had with my own grandparents: distant, boring, and filled with memories of sickness and hospitals.

So, onto happier thoughts.

I have decided to start a 365 project, thanks to the encouragement of Pauline. I've decided to begin on my birthday (what better day to start, right?) I know very very little about my camera, but I'm going to try to learn. I have already signed up for a photography class! I've signed up for a Flickr account and I think I'm going to display my photos there. I'll put a widget in my sidebar so y'all can take a peek, once I've uploaded my first few shots.

Also I've decided to stretch myself creatively, with the encouragement of Lou. I have truly enjoyed blurting out my thoughts and feelings to you unsuspecting folks for the last 18 months. I'm going to continue to do that, but I'm also going to hone my writing skills. I can't make any big promises that my efforts will reap anything worthwhile, but I'll let you be the guinea pigs. I'll be doing some 100 word challenges, writing prompts, and other things like that. I'm so nervous that I think I'm already breaking a sweat. See, if I never try, then I never fail. But if I try, and fail, then I just have to own my suckitude, and that ain't pretty.

So, here's to a year of growing, learning, and hopefully less dishes to wash.

A Bloggy Break

Hey Y'all.

Don't worry, I'm not taking a break for an extended period of time, or for reasons like I'm sick or I'm burnt out or I'm in the corner rocking and mumbling incoherently. No, I'm just going up to St. Louis for a long weekend to introduce Violet to my family. We'll be gone until Tuesday night, and I'm not going to be online, so I didn't want you to worry about me!

I'm psyched, though. I'm going to see her, who I haven't seen for a long time. And, I'm going to meet her for the first time. This will be my 4th one-on-one bloggy friend meet-up. I hope I'm not too overwhelming. I don't think I usually am that way, but I could be underestimating my enthusiasm. (see the last "I Wonder" on this post.)

So, I'll be checking back in with you next week. Now, talk amongst yourselves.

Dear Diary

I love to look at my old journals from high school. As much as I like to purge myself of anything nonuseful, I can not allow myself to toss out the record of my angst-ridden teen years, as preserved on the pages of a journal with a padded red cover and a picture of a scottie on the front.

If I weren't so damn lazy, I'd climb up into our attic and dig out that scottie-journal. And if I did, I could share some of the entries verbatim. But, since you are subject to my laziness, I will have to paraphrase:

Dear Diary,
I am soooooo in like with Mike. He's just so cool. And he smells nice. But why do you think he doesn't talk to me when he sees me in the hall? I mean, we totally macked last weekend. I know I was a little tipsy on those Matilda Bay wine coolers (yummy!) but I really do like him!

Dear Diary,
I am to psyched that I am going to Trisha's house tonight! Her parents are away so we're totally going to sneak out and stay out all night! We'll have to walk to the Pump 'n Pantry to get smokes, which sucks since I don't even smoke. But I'm not going to complain cuz I don't want Trisha to hate me.

Dear Diary,
I don't know what I'm going to do.I just want to die. That stupid bitch Theresa is spreading the stupid rumor about me again. People are calling my house late at night and laughing and hanging up. Mom and Dad are getting really pissed off. I want to be the bigger person and just ignore it, but it's kinda hard when no one believes me. I just want to cry. I want to skip school but I know I would get caught and then I'd get kicked off cheerleading (or at least benched!) or maybe even get suspended.

Unfortunately, I never did a great job keeping a diary. I don't know what it was about writing in a journal, but I always seemed to lose momentum after a few days. I'd always have about a week of entries, then life would get busy, or too boring to waste time writing about, and I'd quit writing. Then I'd get caught up in some serious high school drama, and I'd be scribbling down my thoughts once again. But I think the one thing that kept me from getting hooked on journaling was the idea that I was telling my deepest darkest secrets to a fake person. I never understood the purpose of sharing and explaining myself to... myself. I felt like I was telling a story so I'd include phrases like "Remember when..." and "So, I know I didn't write about thisbefore, so I'd better explain it now..." WHY? WHO NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND IT? THE PERSON WHO ALREADY EXPERIENCED IT??? It seemed like a huge waste of time and a sick desire for writers' cramp.

But I think blogging is different. For me, it's about 25% journaling my life, and about 65% connecting with new people and building relationships. The other 10% is for honing my mad writing skillz, but I can't comment on that - I know I've written a lot of blog posts but sheer volume of words does not make a better writer. So anyway, I blog because I like to do all those things.

Or, maybe I'm just an attention whore and I love all the comments. Who knows.

I Wonder

I wonder how many books the library gets returned to them with wavy, wrinkly pages after being dropped into the tub...

I wonder how many people would actually pay $4 for a rubber band to put around their money and credit cards in lieu of a wallet. Seriously? $4 for a rubber band?

I wonder if Violet is going to be my last baby or if God has other plans for me that I'm not yet aware of.

I wonder if, by the time I ever get back to teaching, if they'll still want me. Or if I'll even be employable.

I wonder when my Christmas decorations will get put away.

I wonder what my kids talk about when I'm not around.

I wonder what I'm going to make for dinner tonight.

Sometimes I wonder if, when my name and number pop up on someone's caller I.D., they say, "Oh shit I really don't want to talk to her. She's annoying." Not that I think I'm annoying, but really, the annoying person NEVER thinks they're annoying, do they?

A New Love Affair

Recently I wrote about our new washer & dryer. I'm happy to report that, after much encouragement from y'all, I have given them a thorough test run and washed everything from peed-on-comforters to spaghetti-sauce-stained turtleneck shirts. All the results have been quite impressive. Plus, did I mention that the wash tub is big enough for me to sit in? It's HE-YUGE. The dryer is not my best friend yet. It takes a long time to dry the clothes, especially if I have a lot in there. But I can't help it! The washer can handle such a large load that I stuff the entire load into the dryer and try to run it all at one time. But I set it for 55 minutes and sometimes things like towels or jeans are still a bit damp. But maybe they aren't damp, maybe they just feel cold from the cold air coming in through the vent tube...

Okay, now how many people haven't clicked away yet from that cliffhanger about my appliances?

Well, I started this post to tell you that I got another new purchase: a new lappy!!!!
Texan Papa bought it for me for my birthday!!! And, my thoughts so far are...

meh.

I needed a new laptop. My old one has had a few glitches lately with turning on. I envision one day when I open the lid and I hear a "mwah-mwah-mwaaahhhh" with some yellow emoticon flipping me the bird. Like, "TOO BAD SUCKAH! SHOULDA BACKED UP BEFORE TODAY!"

The new lappy, which I am going to name DOT, for "daughter of Tootsie" (as in, toshiba. Because my first lappy was a toshiba and so is this new one) is shiny and pretty. But the Delete key is in a new spot! Grrr. And the speakers just don't get that loud. Not so great for jamming to the Indigo Girls or watching Lost on Netflix. BUT - the processor flies! Well, it flies in comparison to my pack-mule of a system now. My poor original Toshiba, or Tootsie as I like to call her, has a slower processor, and she's a single processor (DOT is a dual), and has the weight of the world on her shoulders. More accurately, she's having to process all the programs that I've ever downloaded, my kids have ever downloaded, my husband has ever downloaded, plus a zillion and 23 photos, songs, and videos.

DOT is a Windows 7 gal. I think it is going to take me a while to warm up to Windows 7. But, I must admit that I had the same stubborn warming-up phase with Tootsie, who's an xp gal. In the beginning, I didn't like that she had put everything from Windows 98 in different places. What was this start button business? And, when I shut down, why didn't it tell me that it was safe to turn off my computer? And, HELLO? MY DOCUMENTS? WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? But once I learned how to navigate My Documents and My Pictures and Internet Hearts, it was a torrid love affair.

I have to be honest. I probably spend more time with Tootsie than I do with Texan Papa.

So, now I guess it's time to break up with Tootsie and start dating DOT. Tootsie is going to be the rebound girl to my kids. They are totally pumped that they can finally play all their PC games that previously were too advanced for their ancient Dell computer (that only had a Pentium II processor. GASP! The poor urchins!)

So, I guess what I'm thinking is this: Am I the only one who fails to get excited about new purchases that require being "figured out"? What's up with that? Shouldn't I be all excited to have something new? I think, deep down, that I feel a teensy weensy bit guilty because something I already have does work, even though it may be inefficient, or jerry-rigged, or only has half of its original working functions. I guess I feel bad that I'm not making due like I should. I wonder if I'm being pulled into the materialistic, throw-away society that America has become by giving up on my half-working electronics and appliances.
To illustrate my point, allow me to tell you about our old washer and dryer. The washer lid had the pin broken off that would drop into the latch on the body of the washer, telling the motor that the lid was down so it was safe to spin the tub. So, we used a cable-tie to permanently push down the latch. The washer continued to work but if you opened the lid during spin cycle, you'd better not put your hand down into the whirling tub. And the dryer worked, but only sometimes. It would occasionally overheat, then I'd have to take half of the clothes out and dry them in two batches. Or, I could just let the dryer cool down, then run it again - usually for about 15 minutes until it would overheat again - and keep repeating until the clothes finally dried. But, the clothes got cleaned and dried.

Right now I have a 1 gig MP3 player. And I love it. It's so simple and small. And, I know how to work it! I don't know if I'll ever get the itch for an iPod, but I'm hoping I won't. I can only throw myself into the 21st century so fast. I like the old-fashioned version of my electronics.

Holy crap, I sound like my parents.

Flashback Friday: Getting to Know Texan Mama

Hey Y'all! WOOT WOOT! It's the return of Flashback Friday!!!

C'mon and play along! It's tons of fun.

I picked this post because I reread it and thought, Damn I *do* have some funny moments every once in a blue moon. And then I realized that often time I'm the only one who gets my humor. So maybe I'm funny, maybe I'm not. But at least the clowns in my head are laughing...

**crickets chirping**

So, before these guys in white jackets carry me off to my padded room, won'tcha read my post and then link up with your own Flashback Friday post? See the Mr. Linky right down there? He's friendly - he won't bite.



Originally posted Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Interview With a Non-Vampire

Yes, I am the Non-Vampire.

So, Chris over at Coke on my Keyboard answered some interview questions, and invited someone else to be interviewed by her.

Yes, I am that sucker. Because, no, I can't handle people not paying attention to me.

I just really loved Horshack and Screech. They are kindred spirits.

anyhoo..

On with the interview questions!

1. What is your greatest achievement?

Not poking myself in the eye repeatedly when attempting to potty train my children. It is the one task of parenting that I hate. the. most.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world (and leaving behind family wasn't an issue) where would you live and why?

Ireland. It is so beautiful, and they speak English. I can barely work with one language, let alone master another. As it is, when I spent my semester abroad there, I could tell when the natives were ridiculing me in Gaelic.

3. What prompted you to start a blog?

A very desperate need to make people pay attention to me. No, seriously, I was in a new town with no friends and no one to talk to and I had just SO much to say. So, I figured, why not tell the internet. There must be SOMEONE out there who cares... And look! You really DO care! At least I hope so anyway.

4. Without thinking in terms of money, what would your dream job be?

Ice cream taster. Mattress tester. Scuba equipment tester. Personal shopper.

5. Let's say that on your 80th birthday, all of your family, friends AND "enemies" gather together. Each person is given the opportunity to stand up and talk about you. What sort of things would they say?

That girl has great legs but a pancake booty.

6. What quality do you find most important in a friend?

Sarcasm without pessimism

7. What do you think your children will be when they grow up?

Peppermint Patty - teacher or someone who works with small children

Charlie Brown - non-litigating attorney, engineer, scientist

Linus - Skydiving instructor, Bungee cord tester, Rock climber, get a job in the circus being shot out of a canon

Baby Sally - organizational guru

8. After the children are all grown and moved out, what do you think a normal week will be like?

Now, "normal" is a subjective term. I will probably travel a lot to visit my kids and (hopefully) grandkids. I will leave exactly ONE DAY before I overstay my welcome and move onto the next kids' house. Texan Papa will be gone fishing all the time so he won't miss me.

9. Cats or dogs???

I like both and both have their benefits. If it were just me I'd say cats, but Texan Papa is really allergic so I guess I'd go with dogs. BUT no way in hell would a dog ever darken our doorstep if it had hair in the front of its mouth (like with a Scottie) that gets all nasty when drinking from its waterbowl or eating its food. That shit is just disgusting.

10. If you could only choose to own one of these things, what would you choose & why? Car, computer, television, pen & paper or 5 books of your choosing.

I'd choose the books. No matter how many times I read a book, I always find new things about it I like. I wish I read more and were on the computer less, so being forced to choose would be a good thing for me. And, one book for sure I'd choose is the bible because I've always wanted to read it in entirety but never have done it.

THERE! I did it! I got through all the questions and I didn't make a total ass of myself. Well, maybe you should be the judge of that.

Now, if you'd like to be interviewed by me just tell me so in the comments and I'll shoot you some questions! But I can't promise they will be fair questions. I play dirty like that.

My Second Favoritest Day

Today was the kids first day back to school.

Today, not yesterday. Not Monday, when I didn't realize that they had one more day off of school until they came home from standing at the bus stop for 10 minutes in the freezing cold (relatively, anyway - this IS Texas after all) and saying, "Mom the bus didn't come. I think we missed it." To which I immediately slipped a few expletives. And then, whilst putting on my bra and shuddering as I passed my reflection in the bathroom mirror (my hair has a mind of its own), I thought, "Hmmm, did that little yellow rectangle on the school calendar mean first day back from vacation? I thought it did. Maybe it meant something different..."

It was like a cruel joke.

But now, today, WITHOUT A DOUBT, today is the first day back to school after Christmas Break. This day is second only to the first day back to school after summer break.

And, I love my kids to pieces. I cry because I try my best to be a great mom but I know they deserve better. They deserve the whole world and I can't give it to them.

But. But.

But, I pledge to you now, you as my bloggy friend witnesses, that I will never homeschool them. No good can come of it, that much I am sure of.

Resolutions, Schmesolutions

I can't quite figure out if it's now hip to make resolutions, or hip to NOT make resolutions.

Maybe I'm a big square because I call things "hip". Should I say "groovy"? or "BAD"? or maybe "That's so hot".

I never claimed to be current with the trends. Or cool. I think my "mom-gene" has kicked in and blinded me to anything that is the least bit popular or fashionable.

Anyway, I have been thinking about resolutions. After last year's set of resolutions that I made (by the way, I was oh-for-twelve) I had to think long and hard if I wanted to commit myself to any goals. Because, ya know, I'm all about lowered expectations. But seriously, I don't want to make goals if I'm not even going to TRY to keep them. And what is it about New Year's resolutions that make them be forgotten so quickly?

The only goal I could really think of was made after some introspective reflection of the answer to the question "How were your holidays?" The honest answer is that I did NOT enjoy my holidays very much. Sally has turned into a typical 2-year-old. "NO!" and "I do THIS!" and, unfortunately, "STUPID!" (can you believe she learned that word from Elmo in Grouchland?) Also, my kids fought with each other a lot. And I just wanted them to quit, so I would often give them extra TV time or extra computer time, just to get them to stare at something or someone who wouldn't argue with them. Yes, stellar parenting on my part.

The thing that made my holiday the worst, though, was the realization that my children totally own me. I am weak. I will tell them we're having PB&J sandwiches for lunch. They'll respond, "awww, yuck. Can I have a turkey sandwich instead?" to which I'll say, "Can't you just have the PB&J? It is already fixed." and they will say, "Do I have to? I don't want it! I don't like it!"

And then I cave.

(Okay, stop yelling at the screen now. I know that I'm textbook example of bad parenting. You aren't telling me anything I don't already know.)

I am so tired of being played. And, looking at me from the outside, I'd be appalled at myself. I know that I need to say "no" more often, but I just always feel like, "If it's not a big deal to give my kids what they want, then why should I say no?" And the answer is BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER ACCEPT NO IF I DON'T DELIVER IT AND STICK TO IT.

So, this is why I didn't really enjoy my holidays. It was a constant battle between me and my kids over even the simplest things. "Mom, can I have a snack?" "Sure, you can have either a cheese stick or a yogurt or some Goldfish crackers." "Um, what about a granola bar?" See, I give them 3 perfectly acceptable options, and they STILL try to wrestle me into something else. It is about THEM trying to assert their control which, in essence, isn't so unusual or really such a bad thing. But the problem is that it's gotten out of hand. They do it all the time, over every decision. What clothes to wear, what to eat, what time to play computer, when to do homework, etc.

And, the end result is that I spent a lot of the holiday yelling. And being upset. And making my kids feel guilty. And probably building a wall between me and them. I am realizing that my children are now at the age when it's going to be important to model the kind of behavior I want them to follow. I never believed in "do as I say, not as I do." I'm more of the "practice what you preach" school of thought. I always felt I'd have had a lot more respect for my parents if they could have modeled some behaviors for me, instead of lecturing me about behavior then doing whatever they pleased.

I don't want my kids to grow up to hate me. I don't want them to look back on holidays, vacations, and other things that are supposed to be fun, with memories like, "Remember how mad Mom got that year?" and "Do you think Mom ever has a good time?"

So, this year I guess I've got just two resolutions on my hands:
1. Say "no" and mean it and stick to it. Kindly, with a gentle voice, but firmly.
2. Try to find some fun during family time. Don't focus so much on if everyone is being perfect. Focus more on modeling behavior like smiling, hugging, and forgiving.

Speaking of smiling, I've noticed that a lot of squirrelly behavior can be tamed with a stare, followed up with a smile. Kids get that, and it doesn't make them feel demeaned or punished.

Which, you know, is always nice to see if I can avoid having my kids hate me. But I'm just a freak like that.

Pretty Cute, if I Do Say So Myself

All I can say is, I love my Picnik Premium membership. Seriously.

And no, I'm not getting paid to say that. It's just that awesome.

Barely Floating

How is it possible that it's only the SECOND day of the year and I'm already behind?

I had a bill for Kohl's due on December 31st. Of course, I missed the deadline. And all I can say about that is, thank goodness Texan Papa doesn't read my blog because I think he'd have a conniption fit knowing that my laziness/absent-mindedness/procrastination is costing us money in the form of late fees and finance charges. I hate it too... it's like flushing money down the toilet.

I have been preoccupied with getting ready for a big Girl-Scout shindig that I'm putting together. It is kinda like Cookie Boot Camp for all the girls who are new to selling Girl Scout cookies. They'll learn safety rules, how to change money, get to sample a taste of the cookies, and so on.

Last year I went head-to-head with the neighborhood cookie manager over unsold Girl Scout cookies for which my troop was going to owe a ton of money. In case you're wondering, gone are the days when the happy Girl Scout would go door to door collecting orders with the promise of delivering the cookies a few months later. Oh no. Now (at least here in DFW) the Girl Scout troops have to make up a magic number in their heads of how many cookies they think they'll sell. Then they order these cookies from the supplier and now they own 'em. Nope, you can't return any unsold cookies. You have to just suck it up, so to speak. And, the only way to recoup the money is to sell the zillions of boxes of cookies. And, what happens if you don't sell all the cookies you thought you would? Oh, don't even get me started on the amount of misinformation I received last year about "Oh it will be SO easy to sell those cookies!" and "You'll make SO much money!"

End result: My daughter's troop disbanded and we barely made enough profits to cover all the boxes of unsold cookies.

So anyway, I have organized this whole thing, which I'm calling the COOKIE RALLY. It's truly a double-edged sword: on the one hand, the entire responsibility rests on my shoulders, so the possibility of success or failure lies with me and my competency. **SCARY** On the other hand, I'm working by myself so I don't have to listen to the opinions of less-competent nit-wits. Oh, what I really meant to say was, I don't have to help other well-meaning people learn to accept my way as the best way to do everything. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING - from whether to use round or rectangular tables to what color paper to use for photocopies. This project is allowing me to fly my freak flag for a little while. It's good to get it out of my system every once in a while.

After I get done securing the future of Girl Scout cookie sales in my little corner of the world, and paying bills, I need to attack my arch nemesis: the insurance company. I hate those bastards. I swear, they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag with a GPS. Yet, they are smart enough to screw me over and have an air-tight system of voice prompts on the damn customer service line that I have not been able to crack.

Hopefully January 3rd will prove to be a more productive day. It's Sunday so at least I know I won't get any bills in the mail.